Posted on Feb 19, 2021
A Testimonial By Our Intern, Bella @ The Gentle Barn California
Before coming out to California, my days at home were becoming very dreary as my mental world started to spiral. I was feeling lost, depressed, and my hope and optimism for my future were dwindling as each day passed. I knew something had to shift as my soul continually cried out for change, for healing, and for me to come back into my physical body.
Disassociation is something that I have dealt with for my whole life and is something that I experience to some extent every single day. It is an “out of body” experience, but not in the way that you may think. Disassociating feels like I am in a fog that just won’t clear. It feels like I’m a ghost floating in a dream that I just can’t wake up from. I feel hollow, mundane, detached from my physical body and the reality that’s in front of me. Needless to say, this is no way to live because truthfully it doesn’t feel like I’m living at all.
A spark ignited in my heart over this past summer when I read Ellie’s book My Gentle Barn. The idea circulated in my head to go out to California and work with her, but I never actually put my intention into action. One afternoon I was lying in my bed, sadness filling my thoughts and my body as a gentle push came into my mind to just write the email. To put my intention into action and take the chance to change my life. Within two weeks I was headed to The Gentle Barn.
To say that my time at The Gentle Barn has been transformational is an understatement. I am simply not the same person I was when I first arrived here. The animals have grounded me and put me back into my body more than any medication, therapy, or doctor ever has. I have experienced deep happiness and connection to my physical body more than I ever have before and it is truly thanks to the animals. My sadness and anxiety have transformed into hope, optimism, and excitement for my future as the animals have reawakened and reminded me of the joyous little girl inside who has always been deeply happy and connected when she’s with animals.
I believe that animals are our Angels, teachers, and healers and all we have to do is open our eyes and hearts to receive their boundless love and joy. I am eternally grateful for my experience at The Gentle Barn, as this has been the greatest and most transformational healing of my life. There was no money, no medication, no therapy, no tests, and no doctors. Just animals and the Earth; our true medicine.