When I was little, I felt my connection to animals very strongly. I communicated with them, I saw them, they saw me, and I was lead to them when they needed help. My drive to heal them and the gifts that they had for me in return were so obvious that later in life I was dumbfounded to find out that others didn't feel the same way. As I grew older I was teased by other children when I would speak about my relationship with animals, and in my desire to fit in and be accepted I talked about it less and less, until I was a mere shell of who I was before. That rejection of the real me was almost a death sentence.

The more I denied the real me, the more pain I was in. The more pain I was in, the more I tried doing things to ease that pain. The more I tried to ease that pain with outside stimuli, like boys, alcohol, or drugs, the more lost I became. Until at the age of 25 I was hardly recognizable and barely even living. At that point I had to make a decision: either take my life, or embrace who I was, claim it, live it, be proud of who I was, and do what I have come here to do. I chose the latter and am so very grateful that I did!

The minute I allowed myself to be who I really am, I started slowly rising to the surface for air from where I lay on the ocean’s floor, and animals were my life raft. They came into my life, one by one for healing, but the truth was they were healing me every time. They put me back on the track that was specially carved out for me, and at long last, I started thriving. Once I had finally found myself, I allowed no one and nothing to deter me from starting The Gentle Barn and dedicating my life to animals. Many over the years, including my own family, have asked why I have sacrificed so much, why I have worked so hard, and why I wouldn't let go of my dream no matter what. The answer is that it was a matter of survival!

I believe that each and every one of us has a gift inside that we have come to share with the world. I think that when we are children, we know who we are and what our purpose is, but later in life, because of our circumstances, some of us get lost. There are so many who suffer from depression, addiction, or are just unhappy, and maybe like I was, they are a little lost. The good news is that once we find ourselves and get back on track with who we are, life gets better. I know that it is easier than it sounds, but when we start acknowledging who we are and what our gifts are, and at the very least start meditating and envisioning what we want, we can start the ball rolling.

As you might know, last Friday I turned fifty. I have heard so many people say that they would give anything to be young again. I love being fifty and would hate to be anywhere other than where I am right now. I had to crawl and claw my way to get here, but I now know who I am and am very proud of it. I talk to animals, I heal animals, I open hearts, and I love my life! The look in any of our animals’ eyes is all the thanks or acknowledgment I need. I wish the same for all of us; for everyone to be living their dreams, shining their light, and sharing their gifts. Because when we are truly connected to who we are, then we reconnect to the love inside of us and open up to every other living being. From that place, how can we possibly harm or cause harm to anyone?! It would be impossible! Then because we are shining our light, we can make gentler choices to help others shine their light too, especially the animals who have come to teach us all!