Last week, I spent time in the hospital with Dudley each day. I read to him, we snuggled, I sang to him, I worked next to him, we napped, and we meditated together. Even though he needs to stay longer in the hospital than expected, Dudley is in great spirits. He is quite famous and has guests all day long come see him - doctors, techs, interns, residents, and people who have their animals in the hospital. The front desk staff even has a bag of peppermints in their desk just for Dudley which they dole out each day.

My favorite thing to do with Dudley is meditate. When I close my eyes, he closes his and we fall into deep quiet, focusing on our breath. In this blank and centered space, I wait patiently and allow wisdom to find me. On this particular day, I found myself asking Dudley how he feels about being in the hospital longer than anticipated. He said he didn’t mind at all and that he knew that it was for his highest good. I asked him how he did that, how was he always patient, taking everything with stride, and never seeming upset or frightened about anything. He said that he simply does not choose those emotions. I asked him how he does that, even in the face of horrible circumstances? How does he not feel sad when he gets bad news, or someone he loves dies, or something really horrible happens? I offered that sometimes the only thing we can feel is sad or angry or frightened. This is what he said:

Fear, sadness, and anger are an imprinted response that we have been conditioned to feel when things don’t go our way. But, when we feel those things, we are choosing to feel those things. It is a choice. He said that our society does not teach us to choose anything different. We can, however, choose not to feel sadness or fear, or anger, and we can find a way to see things a different way. He said that when a loved one dies we could rejoice and say, “Bless their journey home.” When something really scary happens we can say, “Thank you for the opportunity to grow stronger and wiser.” When something happens to make us feel angry we can say, “Thank you for the opportunity to learn patience and grace.” None of these options are modeled in our society, but they are choices we could make. When we choose differently, we feel differently, and don’t suffer as much. That is what enlightenment is - when we choose to know that everything is for our highest good, and we embrace it while we surrender. In each and every moment, when we choose growth instead of pain, when we choose surrender instead of attachment, when we choose the bigger picture instead of fear in the moment, we are practicing enlightenment.

He went on to say that even in the face of slaughter and cruelty, animals are so enlightened that they face it with dignity. I asked that if everything is for the highest good, and there are no such things as bad, fear, or suffering, then why work so hard to be better people? Why don’t we all just do what feels good, like eating meat or doing and buying what we want? He said that there are two separate issues: people and animals passing away and our attachments to that, and the people doing the killing or eating animals. He said that when people or animals die, whether it is in a car crash, cancer, an illness, an accident, in their sleep, or being murdered, it looks different to the onlookers, but it is the same for that person or animal; they are all going home, they are all free, and they are all at peace. When someone kills another person or when a person kills an animal or causes them to suffer, that is the darkness that we need to illuminate. We need not cry for the animals, they are at peace, but we need to cry for the one who destroyed their light intentionally. That is the darkness we need to illuminate. That is the low vibration we need to raise. That is the small consciousness that we need to awaken. He said that the reason there is The Gentle Barn and people who adopt a plant-based diet and a movement to evolve spiritually is to remove the impulse to destroy life; whether it is slaughtering an animal, buying something that causes animals to suffer, or going somewhere at the expense of anyone else, we need to become a gentle people with gentle intentions, gentle thoughts, gentle words, gentle choices. That is also enlightenment!

These are very advanced concepts. This is a very different way to view things. My head is still spinning from this conversation. I want to be as wise as that! I want to be able to choose enlightenment in every situation. When I look back at the seemingly horrible things that have happened to me throughout my life I can certainly say that everything that has happened has been for my highest good. Even the scary, sad and horrible things that I have been through have all taught me what I needed to know. They have all put me on my path. They have all given me insight and empathy to the thing that I needed to make me great at what I do. So maybe Dudley is right? Maybe in the moment when things look awful, they are exactly what we need to grow? And maybe we can replace fear, sadness and anger with an openness to see things another way? And maybe we can choose enlightenment? I’m going to try very hard!

Ellie Laks
Founder, The Gentle Bar